In a Humour

Here's what's funny to me:

A little snack shop I saw in Pennsylvania whose sign said simply "Live Bait Hoagies".

Politicians who chant the dual mantras "We must stop government interference" and "We desperately care about who you sleep with and marry."

Ameritech. A couple of years ago at work, our phone system was down. After several hours and numerous cell phone calls to locate the damn repair truck, I finally got to talk to the tech....and he told me that he had tried to verify our problem, but when he called us at our work number, no one answered. So he closed the call. Gosh, why do you suppose we didn't answer, Mr. Hawkings?

I received spam yesterday offering "Increased bustline. For gals."

"Live Nude Dancers".

Hair on my chest only after it left my head.

Playing five tickets in the lotto, because a 5/200,000,000 chance is so much better than a 1/200,000,000 chance.

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?"
"A man's only as old as the woman he feels. "
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. "

This last, I'm particularly fond of.

Favorite Song

Here's the lyrics to my very favorite song...."The Reach" by Dan Fogelberg....

It's Maine, and it's Autumn
The birches have just begun turning.
It's life, and it's dying
The lobstermen's boats come returning
With the catch of the day in their holds
and the young boy is cold and complaining.
The fog meets the beaches and out on the reach it is raining.


It's father and son
It's the way it's been done since the old days.
It's hauling by hand ten miles out
from the land where their chow waits.
All the days get so lonely and long
and seas grow so stormy and strong,
but the reach will sing welcome
as homeward they hurry along.

And the morning will blow away
As the waves crash and fall;
And the Reach like a siren sings
as she beckons and calls.
As the coastline recedes from view
And the seas swell and roll
I will take from the Reach
all that she has to teach
To the depths of my soul.

The wind brings a chill;
There's a frost on the sill in the morning.
It creeps through the door;
At the edge of the shore ice is forming.
Soon the northers will bluster and blow
And the woods will be whitened with snowfall;
And the Reach will lie frozen for the lost and unchosen to row.

And the morning will blow away
As the waves crash and fall;
And the Reach like a siren sings
as she beckons and calls.
As the coastline recedes from view
And the seas swell and roll
I will take from the Reach
all that she has to teach
To the depths of my soul.

Books

I love books. I love reading them, I love owning them, I love looking at them on my shelf. My favorite books are like old friends.

When you really love a book, don't you find that you want to know about the author, too? Want to know what led them to create the work, what the process was like.

And when an author whose work you love dies, don't you feel a grief quite akin to losing a friend?

We're All Getting Better(?)

I heard on the news recently that some high school kid is suing his school district.

Why? Because they assigned homework during the summer vacation for his honors math class.

Basis for the suit? They should have no right to expect him to do anything during his "vacation". According to him, his vacation is his time, and it is his "right" to spend it as he chooses.

His father supports the suit fully. He says that if his son "wants to spend the summer lying in a hammock, he should be allowed".

God help us all.

Dollars

I heard an ad this morning for McDonald's dollar menu. The ad spent about 28 seconds extolling how marvelous it is to be able to buy all these wonderful foods for only a dollar.

At the end of the commercial, the small/fast voice declared that "prices may vary".

Prices may vary? On a dollar menu?

Sunday, Dick's Sporting Goods ran an ad. Footwear was on sale, "up to 50% off, or more". Gee, that certainly clarifies prices.