Lots and Lots of Cooks

Well, this show certainly has it's share of directors. There are at least three diva(ish) actors in the cast, who feel it's not only their right but, apparently, their obligation to offer their suggestions and outright direction to other actors.

This is one of my pettest peeves -- there's a reason the director is hired and sits out front.

That said, there's a lot of talent on this stage, and I think, when all is said and done, that the show is going to be pert near specktacyoolar.

Not sure why I just turned into Goober.

Wow

WOW, has it been busy. Not so much that I have a million things to do, but between rehearsing and learning (a kabillion!) lines for this show and trying to keep the current show we're doing on the air, I've been kinda swamped.

Plus, they've started this new thing at work where they actually expect me to produce. Go figure.

But things are reasonably good; I'm trying to be rigorous with my practice time (and trying to rigorously not do it during family time). Thank goodness for the long drive to and from work. It's tough, sometimes, making that long drive; but it's also good for getting certain kinds of things done.

Learning lines while driving is one of those certain kinds of things.

Oddly odd

I sort of didn't feel like posting last week -- partly because I was still feeling the pressure of auditioning and wanting that role -- and partly because I was just feeling tired and blah.

Don't feel much like posting today, either, and I'm not sure why. I spent the weekend camping with my son, which was great (but cold (and exhausting)). Slept okay last night, but still feeling awfully yawny and gray today.

But. I did get the part. After making us wait way too long (call-backs were Wednesday; I didn't hear anything until Saturday), he finally offered me the part I wanted.

Now, of course, being stressable (read: neurotic), I'm saying "What did I get myself into?" It's a common feeling for me after getting a part -- kind of the actor's equivalent of buyer's remorse -- and it'll pass soon enough.

One hopes.

So for the next two months, my life will be fuller than full. Between rehearsals and set design, et al, I'm gonna be full up. Ah, well....I've lived there before.

Blow me down

Yesterday: almost 70 degrees.

Today: snowing, cold, and blowing like crazy.

Life in Cleveland.

Heh

Well, auditions went blahly okay last night.

My singing was.....okay. I hit all the notes, and sang with emotion and projection and musicality, I think. But I thought my vocal quality was, at best, mediocre. Not sure why (and it's a little disturbing). I definitely don't think my singing lost me the role, but it didn't exactly nail it to the wall, either.

My reading, however, was really good, I thought. There are 7 actors vying for this role -- three of them last night. In my opinion, I was the clear best of the lot last night. I have this feeling, though, that there may have been some stars among the 4 others that auditioned on Sunday. Ah, well. Whatever happens, happens. I went there and didn't die, so there's that.

The director already called me back for call-back auditions tomorrow night, so that's a good thing. We'll see how that goes then.

I'm neither too pessimistic nor optimistic, at this point. I'll just go tomorrow and give it my best shot.

Snip Snippets

Diet update -- I lost 5 (or maybe 6) pounds. The first week is always the easiest to drop weight quickly, but it's a real nice start.

Tonight I audition. I'm ready. And nervous as hell. Nervous nervous already....slept badly, stomach in knots.

Nervous.

Neurosis

Well, knowing I'm being neurotic doesn't seem to help with the cessation of said neuroses....

Or, more succinctly, I'm wack.

I like the song I'm auditioning with on Monday (and I (at this moment only) am (sort of) satisfied with how I sound singing it) -- but I don't care for the accompaniment. It's sort of....blah, ordinary. I think there's much more that can be done with it -- more to the point, I think a better piano part will enhance the drama of my singing. One hopes.

So.

I'm going to write my own arrangement of it this weekend. It's not a real long song, so it shouldn't take me too long to compose a much more dramatic piano score. In theory, at least.

And, for what it's worth, I will make sure the music director knows I wrote my own arrangement -- it can't hurt, I don't think, for her to know that I know my way around a staff.

Which may sound dirty, but ain't.

Well

Four days on the diet. Not a bad thing. Feeling (and seeing) some (minor, but real) results. Success tends to breed success, so (for now) I'm still good to go on it.

I'm really feeling bummed, though.

Before I continue, I should note that, when it comes to self-assessment and confidence, I always way over-obsess and analyze and think that I suck. Being aware that I do it, however, is not sufficient to make me stop.

So. I'm really feeling bummed. I've really been trying to prepare for these auditions (what, another post about these stupid auditions? Yes -- and most likely there will be more to come (see obsessive comment above)). I worked my voice hard yesterday -- both singing and preparing my character voice.

And the results are these: I suck. I sound terrible reading the lines, and my singing is inadequate at best.

And my voice hurts really bad today. It hurts to talk, to hum, even to swallow.

Bummed R Me.

In Other News

In the more pedestrian (and real) part of life, I've (finally) started my diet.

I'm on day 3. Yay. Hooray.

Actually, it's not going so bad. Yeah, I'm hungry, but that's (usually) as much from boredom and habit as it is from actual hunger. I have to eat breakfast every day, which is virtually unheard of for me.

The odd thing is that, before this diet, I usually skip breakfast. Even so, I would usually only start getting hungry for lunch around 2:00 or so. But now, after eating breakfast, my stomach is pretty growly around 10:30.

The interesting thing, though, is that I'm not eating anything at 10:30....and then the growls go away. I still have my lunch around 2:00 or 2:30 -- and that really helps, since dinner on this diet is pretty sparse and sucky.

It's only been 3 days, so I can't really claim any great or grand successes or victories yet, but at least I've done well for 3 days. And that's not much, but it's not nothing.

Up and Down

Well, Monday evening I was convinced that my voice will never be any good again -- and certainly won't be good enough to land this role I want.

Last night, I thought I actually sounded pretty good.

This morning? Crap on a crutch (to coin a (sort of ugly) phrase). So. Is my voice really rollercoastering between okay and not so much? Or am I nowhere near objective to judge it? Dunno. Maybe a little of both.

Here's the thing, though. Either way, I'm going to go into that audition with the absolute confidence that not only will I blow them out of their seats and land the part immediately, but that the music director will leap to her feet and shout "There's our Quixote!"; and that the director will, after wiping the tears from his face, come over and shake my hand and announce to all the other auditioners that the audition is over; the part has been filled.

Life is fine in Tedworld.

We'll See

I've decided on my audition piece (one week from today (and yes, I'm way too obsessed, focused on this thing already).

I'm doing "This Nearly Was Mine" from South Pacific. It has a really nice emotional range and resonance to it (although I'm always afraid of being compared to Ezio Pinza). What I plan on doing is so blowing them away with the depth of the emotional content that they'll forget all about Pinza's operatic voice.

And, if not, at least I feel I'm giving my best vocal shot at it.

The audition I'm attending will be on Monday night. One week to completely nerve up. Sheesh.

Da Noive

A week from Sunday, I audition for the lead role in "Man of La Mancha". It's a part I've wanted to play all my life....now that I'm finally old enough, I may not have the voice for it anymore. Life sure is ironic, ain't it? By "is ironic", of course, I mean "sucks".

Actually, my voice is not what it once was, but it might -- maybe who knows crossin' my fingers -- be capable of delivering the part. I know I can hit the notes; and I know I've got the vocal intensity it needs...but I'm worried that the voice might not hold up under weeks of rehearsal and performance....but, really, the only way to know that I can do it is to give it a shot.

So shot-givin' I'm gonna do. And yes, I'm nervous.

I've figured out my audition piece, I think. I'm (probably) going to use "Who Can I Turn To" from "The Roar of the Greasepaint, The Smell of the Crowd". It's a beautiful song, it's in my range, and it's not all that commonly done (which eliminates the fear of the director comparing me with a multitude of other performers). The dark horse audition pieces are "This Nearly Was Mine" from "South Pacific", and "If I Can't Love Her" from "Beauty and the Beast". The common threads of these songs are that they have a lot of vocal and emotional power -- and they're in my range.

If I don't get this part, I won't be exactly devastated, but I will be monumentally disappointed. If I can't land the role I've always wanted from my own home theatre.....well, to be honest, I expect to get it. So there.

Suited

Normally, I hate the overly and greedily litigious nature of our society....but I just heard of two suits about which I have very mixed emotions.

First, the Dan Brown/Da Vinci Code/Holy Blood Holy Grail suit. On the one hand, while it's clear that Dan Brown lifted "the central architecture" of Holy Blood, I don't see how an idea can be copyrighted. Brown clearly didn't copy from Holy Blood, he simply and without originality, vampire-like, sucked the blood from it.

On the other hand, I utterly hated "The Da Vinci Code"....not because the central conceit of the book offended me in any way (although I did (and do) find it silly in the extreme), but because it was horribly written. So, when a horribly written book resides on the best seller list for years, I have to applaud suing the guy. Just 'cause it makes me feel good.

I also see that CBS is suing Howard Stern because he flogged his move to Sirius for over a year while still broadcasting on CBS. On the one hand, I utterly hate Stern.....not because his obscenity offends me (although I could gladly do without it), but because he is a mean-spirited sneering bully who allows -- nay, encourages! -- his entourage and followers to be equally snide and superior and blatently (and frequently racistly) cruel. So yeah, sue the bully.

On the other hand, it was CBS that gladly broadcast (and profited handsomely from) his vitriol and cruelty for years....so I guess I'm rooting for the suit to last a long time and cost both plaintiff and defendant a lot of time and bad P/R and money before it gets tossed out of court.

We're OOOOLD

Yesterday was Jan's 50th birthday. Yeesh. Who knew I'd end up married to an old chick?

Of course, given that she's been married to a 50-year-old guy for about 7 months now, she might say a similar thing.

We really tried to give her a nice day, though, and I think we succeeded. We went out to dinner with the whole family (her sister's family, and her mom) on Monday night. Then last night (which was her actual birthday) we gave her her presents, and went to dinner with just the four of us.

Mackenzie gave her a beautiful wood collage-type picture frame; Michael gave her a $50 movie pass; and I gave her a get-away weekend (for just the two of us). We'll take it in June (the date of the Yellow Springs street fair, which sounds like a lot of fun).

She's the hardest person in the entire world to buy for -- she admits this herself -- but I think we did good this time.

More importantly, I think she had a really nice day in which she felt at peace and loved.

Of course, none of this changes the fact that I'm married to an old chick.